"I know what to do ... the problem is that I do not do what I already know!"
"I know exactly what I'm doing wrong, but I just cannot change."
How many times have these statements crossed your mind?

Minding your Money is an Inside Job!

Even though I confess that I am not actively involved in any competitive sport anymore, I am still interested in it. Over time, my focus has changed : I slowly but surely became more interested in the psychological and mental side of sport, rather than the pure physical, tactical and technical one.

Do you wonder where I am going with this? Don't worry! The digression is over : sport and Money have something in common that you may not suspect at first.

If you have never read "The inner game of tennis" (written by Tim Gallwey), you should check it out. It is relevant beyond the game of tennis and helps us understanding why our mind works the way it does, and what to do to change it.

If you do not have the interest or the time to read it in full, check this video on youtube.

In his book, the author manages to decode nicely the way our thoughts work against us sometimes, and once again, believe me, this is valid in all aspects of our lives, including our relationship with Money!

In Gallwey's approach, Self 1 is our rational part, which keeps telling us what to do and how to do it, while Self 2 is our most unconscious side, which is nonetheless responsible for most of our decisions and actions.

I focus on understanding and bringing clarity around the way we make money related decisions, and those of you who attended a Money Conversation Café know already how much importance I give to the unconscious part of our brain.

While Tim Gallwey uses "Self 1" and "Self 2" to get his point across, I base my analysis on a cast of 8 archetypes which were first described by Deborah Price, the founder of the Money Coaching Institute. My approach may intuitively seem more complicated, but I like the 8 archetypes because they allow us to introduce different shades and variations.

I also think that his explanation will suit some people, and mine we suit some others because in the end, we just say the same thing in a different way.

The two "selves" Tim Gallwey talks about, remind me somehow of the cartoons of my childhood, which were filled with little angels and little devils sitting on the shoulders of a character, giving conflicting advice.

As a matter of fact, I usually refer to the "angel and devil characters" to illustrate the concept of archetype and describe those inner voices, those parts of us that contradict each other and complicate our decision making process.  

For Tim Gallwey, problems happen most of the time because "Self 1" asks "Self 2" to do something but does not trust Self 2's capacity to perform the task, and therefore wants to run the show.

Confused? Let us take an example applied to Personal Finance : the expense control sheet.

How many times have you seeing a person who started to write down all expenses on a spreadsheet to find out where their money is going... and, a few weeks later, never update the file again?

If you are such a person, here is something which you may relate to.

The process of spending control, which should be a pleasure and give the feeling of control and power over money (actually it is this way for a lot of people), ends up becoming a great source of frustration, anxiety ... and, because of the intensity of this feeling(s), you abandon the idea of keeping the spreadsheet up to date.

The sad truth is that even if we know what to do and are full of great intentions initially, knowing what to do and how to do it, is not enough to get things done 100% of the time.

Because it happens with so many of us, I would be surprised if it does not show up during our next Conversation Café focused on "goal setting". 

Pretty much everybody knows we should write down goals and how to set SMART goals.

Most of us simply fail to realise that there are behavioural elements in the background, which are going to propel us forward or hinder our endeavours.

Granted, each of us is born with the ability to win this "inside game" of Money. But to win a game, we first of all need to know the rules of the game and the various players (aka archetypes) involved.

If you have not taken this step yet why not making 2019 the year you start doing so?

I am curious to hear your views on this!